Joey Good: Movie Critic

This past weekend we saw Toy Story 3. This morning I asked Joey if he told his teacher about it. The conversation went something like this...

Daddy: "Joey, did you tell Ms Rhonda about Toy Story 3"

Joey: "Toy Story 3... Ummm.. Pigs can talk!!!!"

Our Father, Who Art in.... yawn....

Today when the boys came home from Sunday School I asked Milo how it was. His un-edited response...

"It was BORING. They were reading a story from the Bible and it was taking too much long!"

Yep... Yep indeed....

"Don't trust anyone over six!"

I'm starting to think that Milo's curly shag hair is causing him to channel Abbie Hoffman.

This morning he came up to me and said "Dad... do you know why cops are so fat? Because they eat too many donuts!"

"I wanna go to crab festival!"

shouted Joey as he and Milo sped through the grocery store in their race car shopping cart.

I had no idea what he was talking about until I remembered our lobster friends in the corner.

Way to go Red Lobster marketing team!

Opening presents - Joey style

Today Auntie Barbara and Dylan came over for a quick little get together for Joey's Birthday.

We all were in the living room and ask Joey if he wanted to open his presents. So we had their birthday offerings along with some gifts sent by Grandma Cindy, Grandpa Jack, and Aunt Elisa all ready for pillaging... when Joey said "Wait!!"

Then, with much animation... he began waving his arms and said very loud "We need the birthday cake and the candles and the fire! (pronounced "pire").

Joey always insists that things are done in a certain way. Wonder where he gets that?

In Search of Milo...

Yesterday's birthday trip to Schlitterbahn for Joey ended with our first real "lost child" experience.

Daddy had trekked back to the locker area to get our possessions while the boys were enjoying a pirate ship water slide. Mommy and our friend Stephanie were keeping an eye out.

When I returned we couldn't locate Milo at all. We spent at least twenty minutes walking around the area trying to spot him and struck out. Irene finally went to the customer service area and asked "Has anyone reported a los.... "

She got about that much out before the woman at the counter stepped to the side to expose Milo sitting and eating a sandwich and a cookie. He apparently had time to color a picture too.

Based on the pieced-together testimony of a 5 year old.. he got hungry and forgot where we were so he went up to a 'lady' and said "I'm hungry." Further testimony included such facts as: he did tell them that he couldn't find mommy and daddy; he told the lady his name AND mommy and daddy's names; and that they offered him a pickle but he didn't eat it.

He later confessed that he did get a little scared and cried a little, but all-in-all... we ended up in good shape I'm thankful that he's learned what to do if he can't find us.

Whew... Aside from that - still a great Birthday excursion for Joey!

I knew the answer to this...

I stepped out of the shower to find Joey standing right by the door. The following conversation ensued...

Daddy: Joey, why are you out of bed?

Joey: Milo call me stupid!

Daddy: Joey, why is your shirt on backwards?

Joey: Because I NEED it on backwards!

Joey's Not-So-Surprise Birthday

This year we're celebrating Joey's birthday with another trip to Schlitterbahn.

I had a few presents ordered that I ordered from Amazon hidden under my desk. Bad thing.. I forgot about them and when Milo came to the office with me on Sunday he found them in about two seconds.

He actually understood the fact that they were Joey's presents fairly well. However... understanding why Joey wasn't getting them today was another story.

On our way out he kept asking me "Are you going to give Joey his present? Then we can both play!"

I told him that we had to wait until next Monday and in the meantime we were going to hide them in the trunk of Mommy's bug car (VW Beetle).

When we got home I went to the kitchen to crack open a Diet Coke and I heard the front door open and Milo say "Hurry Joey... there's a Spiderman truck for you in the back of mommy's car!"

I Hope That Was a Pop Tart

Today's breakfast had an unusual twist. Joey was enjoying some sort of fudge-filled pop tart pastry. When I saw him walking to his room I noticed a smudge near his ankle that was.... well... brown, dry, and crusty.

I said "Oh my God... Joey, what the hell is on your ankle? Is it poop?"

"Nah... " he said confidently, "It's pop tart!" Then he twisted around almost trying to moon me and pointed to his little behind with his thumb and said "Poop is in my butt!"